I love the end of year vacation, how one can easily vacillate between reckless abandon and heart felt reflection. I’m all about that reckless abandon (which may or may not be accompanied by a strong, cold beverage (s) ) but right now I’m in an overwhelmingly reflective mood and so this is perhaps the perfect time so say a few things. So much has happened these past few months; leaving Grahamstown, saying goodbye to good friends, handing in my Honours Thesis, writing finals, looking for a new place to stay, as well as resting and thinking about the next two or so years, specifically, the things I want out of my own life and how much I would be willing to do to get myself there (academically, personally etc. etc.)
I also had to think about this blog, what was I doing and where was I going with it? What was it really about? Was it worth it anymore? Was it worth my time but most importantly was it worth the time of the few faithfuls who followed the posts, liked the pictures, appreciated the mostly light hearted social and cultural commentary? Not to sound vapid but it really was like that critical moment in a relationship when you've been with someone for a good amount of time and you now have to decide what you want from each other and if each is willing to give what is required; that painfully awkward moment when you know this either ends now or you move on together, more committed than before. These past few months have been that for me and this blog and like a bad girlfriend I neglected LTH and took sometime for myself to see if I was still in this, or if it was the painfully inevitable end.
I’m sure some of you are thinking “Its just a blog, why all this existentialism?" But this is not and has never been 'just a blog' for me, university takes a whooole lot of your time and for almost three years this was the only creative outlet I had and so it became a place of catharsis and creation – and, I confess, it was a place where I could say whatever the hell I wanted, which is also nice. With that said how could I ever let it go? This space which has given me inspiration and which I hope has inspired others, how could I then dismiss it? I don’t believe I am ready to close shop just yet. This year I am doing my masters in Psychology at Stellenbosh (can I get a whoop whoop!) and I will have even less time to blog but perhaps that will push me to make my content richer and more substantial; my blogging time will be more precious so my posts will be more thought out and inspired. Hai but as well ke bua haholo (I talk/promise too much sometimes) so we will just wait and see.
For now though I just feel like there’s nothing to lose if we carry on a little bit longer so...lets just roll with it for a few more years, see where this takes us?
Love to you and for you.
And of course, a very happy and prosperous new year.